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What is marriage? Marriage is defined as the legal union between a man and woman in a relationship. Couples usually get married in the traditional way, which is in the church in the sight of God. However, getting married is not restricted to the church. Some choose to get married in the presence of legal counsel or by the clergy of the church, outside of the church, usually at a hall or Las Vegas. Whatever method you chose you have to understand that marriage is a sacred commitment in the eyes of God. Marriage is a lifetime commitment that requires a lot of work on both parts if you want a healthy marriage. With that said, why do people choose to get married?

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The reasons why people go into marriage is because of love, commitment, convenience, arrangement, money and many other reasons. It is becoming a cliché, but some couples go into marriage because of the love they feel for one another. Although, love is the primary reason why some go into marriage, you have to ask yourself is love alone enough to make the marriage survive. Personally, after being married for over twelve years, I don’t believe so.  Love can be the ultimate reason, but love should not be the only reason. A lot of people will say that love is more than just a feeling, it is a choice. And the same applies to marriage. Make sure that you both are ready to enter into this union in the sight of God because you both believe this is what God has planned and ordained for the both of you. Whatever you do, do not go into a marriage because it is convenient to do so. Speak with your preacher/priest and seek guidance from a marriage counselor before you decide.

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Marriage can bring much happiness in a person’s life, or it can bring sadness depending upon the circumstances. Again, in life, love and marriage is not synonymous and it is not the same in meaning or definition. Yet, there is a major emphasis placed on both by many people. Daughters are taught by their mothers to grow up, fall in love and get married. As if to suggest that’s the only source of happiness. I believe that this type of socialization has contributed to many unhappily married couple’s. Love and marriage shouldn’t be the only two things you seek in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship entails, trust, honesty, commitment and effective communication. Although, this is a dual process between the two, sometimes one will have to compensate for the other. When one is not able to give 50%, 60%, 70%……, the other will have to compensate for what’s lacking in making up the 100%. There are a lot of reasons why you should be happy and it should not be within the confines of love and marriage only. Enjoy life on life terms. Work on becoming a better you.

The decision to go into marriage should be free from influence and pressures. And aside from love, there should also be commitment, communication, trust, and faithfulness in the equation. In today’s society a lot of people are being impulsive about the decision to get married and as a result the divorce rate and separations are on the rise. It is due to the lack of commitment to make the relationship work that drives these couples to seek divorce and separation instead of a solution. I believe it starts with the individual before it can start with the marriage.

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You have to work on you and what makes you happy and fulfilled before you can freely give of yourself to another. Your emotional needs define the finer points in your relationships. You have to ask yourself, am I a needy person? How do I propose to satisfy those needs? Do I try to find someone to meet those emotional needs for me? Once you identify and define yourself you’ll have a better understanding of what you need to do in terms of being content within yourself without any validation from others. Once you establish this you will be able to give of yourself freely without any reservations. You won’t look for love from someone else to validate you because you will have love and trust within yourself. I strongly believe that the emotional aspect must be fully satisfied within you first and foremost so that you are stable and ready before you engage in a relationship. You should not be looking for someone else to complete and fulfill those needs for you. You should know how and in what ways you can be happy and content within yourself.

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